You might be a redn..Err,I mean jerkass if

(Round #1)You might be a jerkass if:
You take up more than one parking space, or better yet, park horizontally in vertical spaces.
If you purposely repeat lines you thought were funny extra loud in public ,hoping someone will hear you and think how amazingly funny and witty you are.
If you shop at Walmart(not everyone,but there are good odds here)
If you shop at Target and call it Tar-ghey (The same G sound as in genasaqua)
If you don’t realize that looking at something half empty and half full are the same goddamn thing.
If you misspell the word misspell(I just did this)
If you live by a motto that sounds like a defunct 80’s candy bar(YOLO)
If when talking about your favorite team you refer to it as “WE won” or “WE’ve got a good team”…  There is no WE, and certainly no U in any sports franchise..
If you like hearing live studio audiences on television shows go “Oooooooo” when someone says something sassy
(50% chance) if you have ever said “Talk to the hand”
(100% chance) if you have recently said it.
If you rant and rave w/ self anointed authority on such matters
That’s the bell for round #1.. We all probably took a shot or two, but dammit.. We get back up and live to fight round #2.